Okay you guys, some of my old blogs were recovered and so I thought I would repost a few of them. This was the first of my old ones:
I do not live in Nigeria. I do not want to live in Nigeria. My next-door neighbor, Johnny, does not want to live in Nigeria. Johnny’s nameless, phantom roommate desperately wants to live in Nigeria, but finds himself in the middle of North Carolina. To make his home feel more like Nigeria he sets his thermostat to 80+ degrees. I would have no problem with this if it didn’t leak heat into my apartment making me feel more like I was in Nigeria too… not to mention putting Johnny’s general comfort in jeopardy.
Last week, Johnny found a note on his thermostat warning him not to lower the temperature or he and his nameless roommate would “be at each other neck.” This is one of the first signs of life from behind the bedroom door of nameless, phantom roommate. Nameless roommate thinks it is perfectly reasonable to have his apartment ablaze even if the other residents would prefer to have a moderate temperature. I suppose putting on warmer clothing is out of the question. He also thinks it's okay to have horrendous grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
This nameless roommate eats only Banquet Meals, drinks only Tropicana, and never takes out his trash. When the trash is full, he constructs bridges with his Banquet Meal trays. Although I’m sure Johnny supports the aspiring architect, he does not support overflowing trashcans in the middle of his living room.
Clearly the best way to inform namless roommate of the error of his ways was by note, including a carefully constructed map to the dumpsters. An alternate route was provided.
The next day the trash was taken care of. Problem solved. The Psuedo-Nigeria dilemma still remains.
